THIS TIME post-chemo I have developed a superpower. I now have an all powerful sniffer. Ultra Sensi-shnauz. If there is an odor out there, I will know it and it will likely make me nauseous. My everyday life smells are so strong... and unpleasant! My dogs, my linens, the grocery store among other things turn my stomach now. And another thing ... just thinking about any aspect of chemo makes me have a visceral reaction. Now that's powerful associations, and dangerous. I have too many more cycles to go for this to be happening already. Think rainbows and bunnies, rainbows and bunnies!
One more cycle (2 treatments) and I will get a PET scan. I should know before Christmas if the cancer is gone. (I hope, I hope) The neck nodes have remained fingertip size, a little disheartening for me since they had been continually shrinking, but that could just be scar tissue. It's all in the PET.
Red blood cell counts rebounded and I'm not anemic for the time being. White counts are hovering at 2.6. I'm pulling the VIP card out for a blood count tomorrow at Pen Bay, so we'll see :)
Pretty quiet week, thus far, except Sadie has been sick. Poor baby dog. Hopefully we have her vomiting in control with a bland diet of boiled chicken. She is also limping, thus is on light duty walks until we see improvement. Worrying about her ailments has taken my mind off of my own ailments. I hope to be snowboarding this Sunday though. I absolutely have to take advantage of my good weekends.
Keeping it short 'cause it's late.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
8 comments:
I bought maybe 5 different bodywashes, because the smells bothered me so much in the shower, but since I rationed showers (because I'm nuts) and I sweated a lot bc of chemo, I needed scented bodywash so I couldn't smell my yucky sweatiness - graphic, I know, but true.. so what I'm saying is, I also had heightened sense of smell... AND you might have lost your nosehair as well, which would probably make your sense heightened as well... which leads me to another point, I got bloody noses a little because of the dry air and because lack of nose hair, and probably something else related to chemo.... so you might want to get some saline nose spray...
Hope you get to go boarding this weekend! :)
XO
Good comments Kelly. Sis, do you have a humidifier? You may want to start that cranking, too, as a pre-emptive measure to the bloody noses.
I found out about your illness from Dennis about 2 weeks ago now. By accident really. When I first got the news, I googled the disease madly and read up on what it was you were up against. I thought "research first, and then reply". It only left me with a million questions I wanted to ask, and yet I didn't pick up the phone.
I thought I would write a great letter and send you a care package first. Keep it positive. Then ask questions.
What a stupid idea that was. I postponed my 'good intentions' for daily interruptions. Number one mistake. I kept thinking of you and I knew that all these daily tasks that I tend to was an avoidance tactic.
It's difficult for me to respond to news like this. I always wish I could say something that is profound, instead of the foot in mouth approach I feel I am bound for. In doing so, I am missing the one thing that really matters.... contact.
When I got your wonderful reply from the newsletter I sent out (I didn't realized you were on my mailing list for that last newsletter) I wanted to hide in shame. Here you are congratulating me and supporting my life endeavors with words of encouragement and I am too intimidated by my self perceived failings to call or write you. Even worse, I allow daily routine get in the way of what is important. Life.
So my friend, I read your blog this morning while the kids were entertained by television (bad Mother... tough!). I was so delighted to share your journey because Dennis and your friends and family are there with you. Not to mention Sadie. Your life is full of love. Full of support. And I feel sure that if anyone can lick this, you can.
I am off to work now, but I want to know more about this nameless boat of yours, when your sister is coming next, and most importantly, how you are feeling on this dreary morning.
You are a talented, and warm loving person Candace. Thanks for sharing this journey. I'm looking forward to reading the blog about your remission soon.
Love, Alison
Thanks for sharing your experiences Kelly. It's the strangest thing and hits you like a ton of bricks. I admit my initial reaction is a little dramatic - hand over nose or waving it in front of my nose, looking around in a panic to find "it". Then I settle down and deal. No bloody noses. Still have nose hair, but nose is definitely dry. 'Tis the season. No, I don't have a humidifier, but good suggestion. One of the smells that bothers me the most is Mom's balance ball that I borrowed to get some exercise. I've febreezed it once (still nauseous smell, but better than ball) and will do it again. I NEED the exercise. Oh yeah, weight gain is another one. Not severe, but when you've been stable eating whatever you want, a five pound jump is shocking.
I had smellerific problems too. And the pre-chemo anxiety/nausea... oh yea. The nurse called it Anticipatory Nausea and I was on Ativan for it for a few treatments-a pretty heavy hitter in the drug world, but it got me through a few tough days (and gave me a slightly stoned/the world is Amazing and Psychidelic feeling). I hope your counts continue on the up and up and that your energy is really good.
Take care of that puppy
Morgan
Note back to Alison - Thank you for replying and confessing your difficulty with words. I would be the same way, and we're not alone on this. Everyone wanted to know what they could DO. You hit the nail on the head, though, that profound words actually help far less than the mere act of being there and caring. Now I know and I'm so glad you are onboard with me for this crazy roller coaster ride called "The Hodge". Hope to see you soon at your opening!
Candice,
Any photography advice? I know you have quite a bit of experience with photography.
Hi Candace-
Good to hear that your blood counts are doing okay esp. with flu season upon us. Aagh...snow already..we're dealing with 70 deg temps down here in GA! Been a wild couple of weeks-my brother and I have had to move my mom up from FL and into an assisted living place here-she was too ill to stay in her house. Enjoy the slopes for me too! Best wishes, Bridget
Post a Comment