LIVESTRONG for my Dad

My friend Carissa and I had a wonderful, symbolic gesture planned to end my cancer that involved a potted plant (it is spring after all!) and burying our yellow, Livestrong bracelets that we have been wearing faithfully since October. Carissa did hers and presented me with the beautiful flowering plant and before I got around to also burying my bracelet I found out my father's leukemia is progressing to the point he likely needs chemotherapy.

My sister called me with the news. Apparently he has had a swollen leg for months and now notices enlarged lymph nodes in his neck and groin. He has known about his chronic leukemia for years now, but the doctors have been monitoring it via blood work and he has been within healthy range. No one could figure out his leg, though. It started with pain and they said it was a pinched nerve. Pain medication and time would take care of that. His leg swelled two weeks after that diagnosis. They couldn't find any clot, so they were stumped. A new doctor to my Dad, looked at his latest CAT scan (forgot to ask how recent) and noticed enlarged lymph nodes in his stomach. He has surmised that the enlarged nodes could be squeezing a vein. Enlarged nodes also indicate that his leukemia is starting to overtake the healthy blood cells and pooling in the nodes. He's also been feeling extremely tired and loosing a lot of weight.

Life Lesson Post-Cancer - Lesson #2 - You are the most important member of your health care team! Yes, team. You are the leader calling the shots, not your doctor. Use your doctor as an opinionated resource. You have the right and responsibility to question your treatment or care, question what the doctor is doing or NOT doing. You will be more empowered to be the leader if you are prepared when you meet with your doctor. Do your own research, talk to others like you, and if you have any doubts, you have the right to seek a second opinion. What I learned navigating our stupid health care system for the last six months is that doctors are just people, not gods. Fixing you is their job, and they are overworked like the rest of us. They can take shortcuts and easy ways out too. You can help them help you by being proactive and sharing everything about how your body feels. Oh, and if you still don't have the kahunas to MAKE them listen to you, remember that without you, they wouldn't have a paycheck. And if that doesn't help, take someone with you as your advocate.

My cancer goes away, but my Dad's gets worse. YIN and YANG. The GOOD and the BAD. My little life and the great big universe revolving in the same way. In solidarity to my father, I'm keeping my bracelet on as long as it takes and will bury it when HIS cancer is back under control, hopefully. I'm worried, though. He is not a young man and already has other health issues. He was asking me what chemotherapy was like, so I told him my experience, but also told him it is different for everyone. His won't be anything like mine because I am young and he is old and has been battering his body for most of his life with cigarettes and alcohol. Our cancers aren't the same and our drugs won't be the same. I wish he COULD have the exact same experience as me, for I fear it will be very hard for him at his age. He has an appointment with his oncologist on Monday to learn more about his treatment. Would really like to be there to act as his advocate especially since I've been through it all before. All I can do from across the country is send him information I find on the net that is pertinent, being careful to not overwhelm him, and hope he reads it and asks his doctors about it. Deja vu. Mel and I are back in the researching phase all over again.